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Emotional Resilience: Bouncing Back from the Pain of our Past

Updated: May 29, 2023

We all experience highs and lows in life. Some of these experiences are pleasant, such as success or joyous moments, while others can be more difficult such as betrayal, disappointment, or loss. During these times, we rely on emotional resilience to process events effectively and maintain our “staying power” through it all. So how do we build emotional resilience? Let’s take a look at some steps we can take to increase our emotional resiliency.

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Taking an Honest Look at Your Past

The first step in building emotional resilience is taking an honest look at your past. When you examine your past experiences, it helps you make sense of them and understand why they happened. You may also discover that those difficult moments were actually beneficial to you in some way.

For example, if you experienced a betrayal or disappointment in the past, that experience could have taught you important lessons about yourself and other people which will help you move forward with more clarity and understanding.

Practicing Self-Compassion

The second step is practicing self-compassion for yourself when things don’t go as planned. Instead of beating yourself up for not achieving certain goals or expectations, practice self-compassion by acknowledging that there are ways those past hurts could have actually made us stronger instead of weaker. This helps us stay grounded during difficult times rather than feeling overwhelmed by them. Additionally, it is important to remind ourselves that everyone has setbacks from time to time and that they’re part of the journey instead of failures in themselves.

Making Connections With Others

The third step is making connections with other people who are going through similar experiences as you or who have gone through them before you. It can be helpful to talk with people who have been there before because they can provide advice on how best to handle those situations and pass on lessons learned from their own experiences which can help us learn how to better manage our own emotions during difficult times so that we remain resilient even when things don’t go as planned.


Emotional resilience plays an important role in helping us process difficult events effectively and having staying power throughout it all—even when things don’t go as planned. To increase emotional resiliency, it is important to practice a few steps including taking an honest look at what has happened in our past; practicing self-compassion; and making connections with others who have gone through similar experiences before us. By following these steps, we can build up our emotional resilience so that we can ride the waves of life's highs and lows with strength and grace!

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